The Years Have Gone By !

The years have gone by and the times have changed,

I see people moving at a rapid pace...as if they are trying to win a race !

No one seem to be interested in knowing about me or knowing what I can do for them,

I am still looking for those who always felt that I was a noble soul and a real gem !

Have they disowned me completely ? Have they forgotten about their loved one ?

What is the point of living in a world which doesn't even acknowledge your existence,

and if I say something to make my presence felt  I am bowed down by the environmental resistance !

For them, I am one lonely man who is still stuck on to his past.

Who cannot believe that time waits for none and life always moves on, 

be it for an old man, a newly wed couple, a teenager or a baby...new born !

So whats my fault ? Only that I did not move ahead with time ? or I was left behind by people whom I trusted ?

I tried seeking opinion, looked for everyone's advice to take that leap of faith, but no one ever suggested !

And I know the reason..Coz with me would have come a huge burden of those who were finding it hard to cope,

I couldn't leave them behind like you, as I was their only hope !

But you wanted to watch each one of us fail by sitting at the other end of the rope !

Still  I do not mind, for me, I did what was right even if it meant isolation.

I may not be the talk of town now but I used to be it's youngest sensation  

I would live with those beautiful memories which would always take me down that lane,

where I used to be happy with my dear ones , without any fear, agony or pain !

Don't know how long I would survive and how long those memories would keep me engaged

as the years have gone by and the times have changed ! and the times have changed !!

I will not die without meeting you - 2

It’s taken me a long time to come up with a new post. These days I have not been trying much on the writing front. I had started on few, but then didn’t find them interesting enough and soon lost the track of what I was supposed to convey through my thoughts... Going through few of my old posts, I thought of writing a sequel to one of them - I will not die without meeting you! I personally believe the sequel has to be better than the first, and so it took a lot of time to think of it.I have scribbled something, but still I ain’t convinced with the outcome and I may never be coz I really loved the first one..So not thinking much on it, and leaving you guys to rate it, here’s my latest post -

 

Where were you?

 

I could hear some noise, I could hear people talking around me,

I wanted to open my eyes and see them but it looked quite difficult,

My eyes were heavy and I felt as if I was sleeping for years,

I opened my eyes slowly and carefully,

I could see my friends and family standing beside me,

All looking at me with a smile on their face and tears in their eyes,

They were happy to see me alive and I was happy to know that I would be able to see you !
 

I wanted to know where you were but didn’t had the courage to ask someone about you,

You know they never liked you, they always thought that you wanted to take me away from them,I asked them where they found me and how did I survive that stormy night,

They told me that it was you who saved me, it was you who brought me here,

It was you who made it possible for me to see another day,

And then everyone looked at the door as if they were expecting someone,

To my surprise, you entered the room!

You were wearing that white dress, which I had gifted you on your birthday,

Those diamond earrings which we had bought from the new jewellery outlet in the town,

And those white stilettos which you always wanted to wear on a special day,

Everyone hugged you and welcomed you!
 

I was overjoyed to see you and to see my friends and family accepting you,

You hugged me and whispered in my ears, “ thanks for making it till here,
thanks for keeping your promise, I wish I could also keep mine!
 

After saying this you just left the room and everyone looked sad and started crying,

I was unable to understand what was happening and why did you say so,

For a moment I felt something was terribly wrong,

Suddenly a thought crossed my mind,

You never wore those stilettos coz you could hardly walk with such high heels,

We never bought those earrings coz you always felt that they were too expensive,

And that white birthday dress? I never gifted you that as I had lost it in that stormy night,

So, so what was true? What was real? And where were you? Where were you?!

Here's the link to the first one - 
http://www.chhaviraina.blogspot.in/2010/02/i-will-not-die-without-meeting-you.html

You and Me !

 

Why destiny rolled it on my way, When I was willing to surrender on the right day

Agreed I took some time to recognize the wrong deeds,

But that’s understood as I was just trying to fulfil the basic needs

I didn't realize when those needs evolved into luxuries and I started craving for more

At that time I could just see myself in front of a broad ocean, standing on its shore

I had no option but to cross the ocean, , With no ship to sail I had to compete without fail

 

And I did whatever it took me to touch the horizon and go beyond everything

Even if that meant stepping over others and doing a bit of sacrificing

I swear I never wanted to do this but you forced me into it

I was too tired running around but u never allowed me to sit

 

And now when it’s all over you want me to go back and live in that darkness

Which would gradually lead to my end due to guilt, suffer, stress and loneliness

That sense of emptiness would eventually get me killed

And all your vicious wishes would be fulfilled

I wish I could do something to stop you from moving ahead

For the pain you have given me I want to see you dead

For once I even took out a knife to achieve that goal,

But no one supported me, neither my body nor my soul

Still I don't care I will stand alone against you come what may

You always decided my fate but this time I will have the last say

I know I need a lot of courage to defeat you in this war game

I have to take away from you, myself ,my mind and my name 

 

You can command and control whatever I do

As you are my inner self it’s difficult to conquer you

But now I am left with very little time at hand

Soon I will be dissolved in the pure water, air and sand

 

I should have got a last chance to prove myself innocent

But before that destiny had showed what it had meant

By saying that you will not be able to see a ray of light

I lost the battle without even getting a chance to fight....!

I will not die without meeting you!!

I thought of you for a while and then said to myself

“I will not die without meeting you”!

But then I heard the sky, talking to himself,

"Ah only few men down, seems I have got lot of job to do"!!

The sky started opening up for another round of huge downpour,

And I could hear the immortal death, knocking at my door!

In a seconds time it started raining cats and dogs,

And by being immersed in water, I could sense the formation of floating blogs!!

I gathered some courage and thought of giving it a last try,

Looked around and found a tree who was about to surrender in front of the sky!

I held one of its branches and tried to push myself out of that mess,

And I was half way done when suddenly someone grabbed by legs!!

I shouted riotously “I don't want to die, please leave me”                    

And kicked everything down there which I couldn’t even see!

 

I ran unconsciously towards a house to ask for help and save my life!

With a hope that at least someone would have survived,

I knocked at the window continuously..... But no one replied!!

I knew I was fighting a lost battle; soon I lost all hopes and sat there quietly!

Looking at the rising level of water and simply waiting for the death to arrive,

I realized the importance of my loved ones and the meaning of being alive!!

 

I closed my eyes and again thought about you, I could see you smiling and laughing at me,

As if I had cracked a joke about myself which made you giggle uncontrollably!

 

In the midst of that stormy night, I don't know when I felt asleep,

And then what happened to me, I don’t even  have a clue!

I just recall that all the time I was just saying to myself,

I will not die without meeting you...

I will not die without meeting you...!!